Billy Bragg - The Progressive Patriot

When Danny Kelly thrust Billy Bragg’s book in to my hands on his radio show a few weeks ago I was only too happy to accept it. After all I’d managed to blag something without even having to do so much as ask. Add to that the fact Danny used to sell second hand cars and that he’s a bloody nice bloke to boot and I couldn’t really say no. Once I got home however I soon realised I know absolutely nothing about Billy Bragg or his legacy….


Rather than put the book to one side I decided to soldier on and learn about this legendary music great, after all where better a place to start reading up on a man than with his very own book. One hundred pages in and I felt like I knew more about Bragg’s grandfather than he himself. Then again, whilst I had learnt very little about the man himself or the music he produces, I had learnt a wealth of facts and knowledge on Great Britain and what it means to be British.

For many of Bragg’s fans this will seem like a natural point for him to address and at times he uses the book to link songs to events that have occurred throughout his life and indeed through our lives over the last 20-40 years. For some this will seem a little too much like a sociology or history lesson but for those who stick with it there are some interesting facts to be learnt.


Beyond that there’s an even bigger chunk of history which Bragg dives in to including Romans, Celtics, Rudyard Kipling, and even a paragraph on the guano trade. It’s all terribly well written and it’s clear there’s been a wealth of research put behind this book. The fact sources are listed at the end further shows the dedication Bragg must have had to finding every last piece of British history.

When we hit the modern day the book hits it stride with talks about Britains new found obsession with flags on cars and the effects of the July bombings. The strongest tones however are hit over the British National Party (BNP) who come under attack from start to finish. Still when the official BNP website makes statements such as “abolishing multiculturalism” as if it’s a good thing then it’s easy to take the side of Bragg.


Although less than 300 pages it’s clear the topics talked about could be discussed for thousands more. But perhaps that’s just what Bragg wants? To finally get us talking about what makes us British and the forces that try to take that away from us.

The Progressive Patriot is out in shops now and you can buy it here

Or for more Billy Bragg items see the box below:

Magic Vase

As I’m not one of those people who buys flowers every week the vase on my desk has now been empty for a grand total of 35 days. Since the last set of flowers died it’s effectively just sat there, a white ceramic blob crying out for attention and ultimately having it’s needs unfulfilled. To make matters worse it’s too big to hide in a cupboard and really looks a little out of place on my desk without anything in it.


Wondering how a sheet of plastic could solve all my problems? Well it’s called a Magic Vase and is designed as an instant vase that can be hidden and reused every time you get flowers. So how does it work? Well you open the vase with your hand, fill it up with water and then chuck in some plant food and flowers and you’re good to go.

I’ve got to admit at first I had my doubts, especially as to how something made of plastic which looks 2D at first could stand up on its own, full of water and not topple over. Being a little too curious for my own good I put this theory to the test and filled up one of the bigger vases and attempted to try and knock it over. Whilst nowhere near as sturdy as a ceramic vase the Magic Vase will stay upright by itself so long as you’re not too rough with it. However if you’ve got pets it might be a good idea to store the vase out of the way.


That said if the vase does fall over all you’ve got to do is dry the carpet out for a few seconds and you can instantly pick the vase up and use it again without a risk of it breaking. One of the stories my Mum likes to tell me from my childhood is how I scared her to death by picking up a vase and pretending to break it on the floor. Naturally if your kids are as mischievous as I was then you can regain control by stocking up on a few magic vases and then getting them to clean up the water afterwards!

If you don’t have kids but still like the idea there’s a range of other possibilities and scenarios where you may require a vase for just a short time. Visiting people in hospitals, parties, weddings etc all require vases and with a Magic Vase at hand you’ll be ready to solve any dilemmas. They even come in extra small sizes for those moments when you want to surprise someone with just a single flower.


Now I just need to find a place to hide my old vase….

My Magic Vases were very kindly provided by Lydo Innovations Ltd who have all sorts of this stuff in their eBay store. Hit the link to check them out.

Mortal Kombat Armageddon (PS2)

With the Nintendo Wii little over a month away, the Xbox 360 here already and the PS3 waiting just around the corner gamers won’t have to wait long to see ‘next-gen’ versions of some of their favourite games. But what about those still clinging eagerly to their PS2’s hoping for a few final experiences before they lay their hard earned cash down for an upgrade? One franchise which has decided to give that all needed last hurrah is Mortal Kombat and boy does it go out with a bang (and severed limbs and a few buckets full of blood).


Whether you’re a new gamer or old there’s no way you’ll have missed out on Mortal Kombat in some form or another. Be it classic 50p battles down a local arcade, the blood-free SNES version or even recent 3D efforts everyone should have some experience of the series. If you haven’t then order this game right now as it’s by far the most complete Mortal Kombat you’ll ever experience and an essential starting point for the curious.

What makes it so complete? Well first there’s over 60 fighters which includes almost the entire roster of characters past and present. With so much choice new comers may feel a little daunted but whether it’s a character covered in blood and guts (Meat), an ice cold killer (Sub Zero) or just a comedic extra covered in motion capture balls (Mocap) you’ll find someone you like after a couple of play throughs.


If you can’t find a character you like the look of then you can always use the new Kreate a Fighter mode. Not only is this mode overflowing with options there’s also the ability to assign fighting moves to your character and even map them to specific buttons. In a matter of minutes I managed to create a sword wielding femme fatale, and butch army corporal. There are also extra items and moves that you can use to customise you character which can be purchased with a series of Koins.

Koins can be earned by fighting an arcade mode (fight characters one by one until you reach the ultimate boss) or by playing an updated Konquest mode. In this mode you run along 3D areas and generally get to beat the blood out of anyone who gets in your way. Sadly this mode can sometimes become a test of patience – especially when dodging traps - but stick with it and you’ll be rewarded with extra weapons (although these annoyingly can't be used outside of this mode).

Should the fighting get too much Mortal Kombat Armageddon also features by way the strangest diversion since the days of Tekken Bowling – Motor Kombat, a short and sweet karting game with a few of the main characters. Again another fun distraction but it lacks variety and suffers from tracks which are a little too long for their own good.


Whilst not every feature of Mortal Kombat Armageddon is a complete success it’s this variety that really helps make the game an excellent proposition. There’s a lot here to enjoy and plenty to help keep you going until the ‘next-gen’ Mortal Kombat comes along. Fight! You know you want too...

MKA is released for PS2 on October 27th 2006 and Nintendo Wii in 2007.

Toastabags Review - Read this before you buy!

For lunch today I grabbed myself a sausage roll and proceeded to walk back to my flat. By the time I made it home the sausage roll was cold as ice and didn’t look anywhere near as appetising as it had behind the counter at the store. Luckily just last week the team at Lydo Innovations Ltd sent me just the thing to warm my sausage roll back to health.


Toastabags are a new way of warming up anything savoury including sausage rolls, pasties, samosas and wraps as well as allowing you to make toasted sandwiches without having to invest in a sandwich maker. Designed to cook food as quickly as a microwave, only with less sogginess, they’re a unique idea and one which I was eager to try out as soon as the bags arrived.

The toastabags themselves look like little grease proof paper bags and are just the right size for a sandwich or pizza slice. When you’ve decided on your food of choice you simply pop it in the bag, hold the handles and place the item in your toaster. One thing it’s important to remember when buying toastabags is that you’ll need a variable width toaster. If you’re unsure what this means check whether you toaster can fit two small pieces of bread in a singe slot. If it can’t then you’ll end up with a very squashed sandwich.


Unfortunately in my case I have a standard width toaster, but rather than deprive you of a road test I decided to put my sausage roll to the test and cram it in the toaster anyway. After a quick squeeze I managed to get the bag in the toaster and set the timer. Unfortunately there’s no cooking instructions so the next step is to carry out a few one minute ups and downs until the item feels hot throughout. After that it’s on to the taste test.

Despite being slightly squashed the sausage roll still tasted great and was warmed completely in only a coupe of minutes. It also tasted better than the same sausage roll in the microwave and I’m sure toasted sandwiches would be every bit as enjoyable when made in this way. There’s also 20 recipes included with the toastabags and I’ve heard claims it can even make eggs!


Toastabags are perfect for students and for those lazy Sunday mornings when you need quick warm comfort food. With Winter just around the corner and everyone looking for a quick way to enjoy warm snacks through the colder months Toastabags could be the answer.

My Toastabags were very kindly provided by Lydo Innovations Ltd who have all kinds of unique items in their eBay store. Hit the link to check them out.

Perfect Sweet

When talking to BBC News there was one aspect of the site they were very curious about: just how on Earth is it possible to write 400 words on just about anything? I’ll admit it’s something that's not always easy, often inspiration can come from childhood memories, or a truly unique aspect of the product. Today however is the first time I’ve ever actually been stumped….


The product in question is a bag of sweetener called Perfect Sweet which is designed as a sugar substitute. Whilst I would love to regale you with childhood stories of sprinkling sugar in tea or coffee sadly I can’t, as to be honest when I was younger I couldn’t stand tea or coffee, hot chocolate was always my hot drink of choice and lets face it, that probably had far too much sugar in to start with.

So instead I’ll look at the unique aspects of the product. After hearing that the product was made 100% from Xylitol I immediately tried to remember where I’d heard of it before, a quick dig in to a nearby draw revealed the answer. Turns out Xylitol is also the primary ingredient used to make Smint’s which I’m sure you’ll all have tried at some point. Thankfully unlike Smint’s, Perfect Sweet doesn’t include mint flavouring, hydrogenated vegetable oil or anything that will ‘produce a laxative effect” meaning it’s 100% natural and more than safe to sprinkle on your morning cereal.


Speaking of which a little note came with my Perfect Sweet urging me to try them "on my morning Weetabix" so I decided that with such intimate knowledge of my morning eating habits I would have to oblige. The taste is actually a little softer than sugar so don’t be surprised if Perfect Sweet doesn’t taste quite how you expect it to at first.

Then again this is a Sugar Substitute, it’s not meant to be “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Sugar” so you’ll probably find you enjoy the taste just the same after a couple of bites of Weetabix or sips of Tea. There's benefits to be considered too with: Lower carbs, calories and GI rating than sugar. Your dentist would even be pleased as it apparently “promotes healthy teeth”.


So for those reasons alone you could do a lot worse than giving Perfect Sweet a go. Who knows you may never use Sugar again.

And that I believe is 410 Words….

New to the site?

Welcome to Blagman.co.uk, if it's your first time here you can see everything that has been tested for the last 2 weeks below and for everything else hit the "Blags to Date" link on the right hand side. New products are posted up Monday, Wednesday and Friday and you can even buy the best products from an online store by clicking here.

Enjoy, and leave comments if you have any opinions on the site or articles.

DVD - Wilderness

“Don’t go down to the woods today” the tagline may make Wilderness sound like the lost child of ‘The Blair Witch Project’ but in reality it’s something much, much better. When a bunch of youth offenders find one of their bunkmates has commited suicide they’re shipped off to ‘The Island’ to get back to nature and to work on becoming upstanding members of society. Sadly for the prisoners it seems bonding isn’t so easy when you constantly find yourself under attack from savage dogs and a mysterious assailant with a crossbow.


It’s a nice set up and one which immediately draws unfair comparisons with one of the saints of British Horror; Dog Soldiers. The difference here is that not only do our squad of inmates have to fight their way back to safety, they also have to survive each other, and with drug dealers, sex offenders and murders in the bunch you can tell things are going to get nasty.

And nasty is certainly one thing they get. After a short set up of around 30 minutes (just enough time to tell who hates who) carnage ensues and doesn’t let up until the credits roll. Where most horror movies rely on moments of serene quiet and blistering terror Wilderness is a constant attack on the senses. One minute the prisoners will be running away from dogs and as soon as they get to safety they’ll be at each others throats, only to be interrupted by (you guessed it) more dogs.


The group of prisoners is remarkably well played will villains who you’ll want to die from the second they step on the screen, to misunderstood felons who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. There’s also a camp of women’s prisoners who get dragged along and this further creates some well played out character dynamics. Sexual tension amongst psychopathic killers? You can tell this is going to get bloody!

Much like Battle Royale the island is as much a part of the character as the cast and crew and helps to create the sense of fear that no one is going to escape in one piece. This atmosphere of dread is further enhanced by some fantastic music which makes even the most serene scenes have something of an mysterious edge.


Last but not least the death scenes are fantastic and for the most part unexpected. Whether it be death by dog, crossbow or trap you get the feeling that there’s a real danger in the woods. Want to watch something with a little bite this Halloween? Then step in to the wilderness…

Wilderness is available to pre order here and will be released on October 23rd 2006. Or if you can’t wait that long you can rent it right now.

Heinz minis

A friend of mine used to say “All good things come in small packages” and to a degree he was right. Everywhere you look there’s a desire to make things smaller and sexier whether it be the Mini car, Mac Mini computer or in this case Heinz minis. Yes even food can’t escape the march of miniaturization.


Looking at the tins you won’t be able to see much difference to the usual small cans of baked beans that are made my Heinz. Anyone thinking that the cans are just half sized portions of existing products will be pleasantly surprised. In actual fact not only are the tins half the size but the food inside has been drastically reduced in size as well. That means when you pop open a tin of Heinz Baked Beans with mini pork sausages you really will be enjoying some of the tiniest sausages known to man.

This has two direct advantages over the standard small tins. First it means that you won’t have to worry about only getting a couple of sausages in a small tin, now it’s even easier to ration the food on your plate. It also means that you can enjoy the taste of each product for a lot longer as in the case of the Vegetable ravioli which includes perfectly sized miniature portions ready for each bite.


These tins are also much better for kids as their smaller size makes them easier to swallow and also means the food is far less intimidating than bigger portions. On top of that it means that those who can’t find the time to chew their food will already have had some of the hard work done for them.

In terms of taste the Mini ravioli and baked beans taste exactly the same as their bigger counterparts so if you like the big versions there’s no reason you won’t feel right at home with their baby siblings. The pasta spirals on the other hand were totally new to me so I decided to sample them for an early lunch today. If you’re a fan of macaroni and cheese then you’ll be right at home here. The cheesy sauce can be a little strong but as the tins are cheap and small they're easy to try any time for the curious.


Don’t let the size fool you, there’s lots here to enjoy. A single portion is just about the right size for one person so there’s no waste and if you’re feeling a bit adventurous you can even mix and match ravioli and beans for a unique taste.

Avon Selection

Anyone who has been reading Blagman.co.uk for a while may have noticed that every month so far I’ve managed to get hold of shaving items in some form or another. In August it was Gillette Fusion shaving foam, in September it was Sanex for Men shaving gel and in October we come to Avon Soothing Aftershave Balm. At this rate it’ll become a monthly tradition!


The aftershave balm also came with a couple of other products from Avon which I’ll get to later. All the products were kindly donated by Avon rep Laura Rolston who is currently looking for other people to become Avon reps. If you’re looking for a new calling and fancy it then drop her an email on laurar_avon@yahoo.co.uk.

Shameless plug out of the way it’s time to try out the products. I tested the aftershave balm out this morning (no beard photos this time folks) and it’s all the things an aftershave should be. It’s very light so easy to apply and also very easy to rub in to your face quickly if you’re in a morning rush. It also leaves no stickiness and lasts throughout the day.


In with the batch of products also came Avon Replenishing Hand Cream to soothe sore and tired hands back to health again. Even if you don’t work in the construction industry or any kind of job where you get your hands dirty it’s still a good idea to use products like this from time to time. It does have quite a flowery scent so I probably should have given it to Marie to try but it did help soothe my chapped knuckles after a heavy typing session so it does do the trick.

Last there's Avon Naturals Purifying creamy facial wash. Again it’s one for the ladies but I decided I’d give it a go regardless. It’s easy to get a lather going and there’s no scent to worry about this time around. It also feels nice on the skin and doesn’t leave any oiliness behind once you wash it off.


Before writing this article I had little experience of Avon so it was nice to try out a new product range (even if it was mostly for women!). Everything I tried was soft and easy to use which is just what you need whether it be for your face, chin or hands.

If you’d like to learn more about any of the above products then visit her site for more information and to order your own.

Blagman on the Danny Kelly Show

Thanks to everyone who listened to the Blagman story on the Danny Kelly show yesterday and for Danny for having me on the show. I'd also like to say a big hello to all our new readers, coming up soon we've got the smallest ravioli ever, a perfect DVD for Halloween and yet more shaving gel!

So for new readers and old keep reading, the blags will only get bigger and better, Enjoy!

Optivita Cereal Bars

Are we as a nation getting healthier? You’d certainly think so with Gillian McKeith on our screens and the Food Doctor on our book shelves reminding us that cake isn’t the answer to life’s little problems. Even advert breaks are constantly reminding us that we should be eating plant steroids and ‘healthy bacteria’, whatever that means. Not only that but if you look at the food products I’ve reviewed over the last month you’ll spot products with Soya Milk alongside health brands such as Slim Fast. Even the spaghetti I featured on Monday was made from Whole wheat and included Omega 3.


Continuing this trend comes new Optivita cereal bars from Kellogg’s. The benefit this time comes in the form of an oat fibre called ‘beta glucan’ which naturally occurs in the ingredients and is designed to reduce that pesky ‘bad’ cholesterol which causes heart disease. The bars are also only 100 calories, have no added salt and are low in saturated fat. Sounds like a win-win situation? Here’s hoping they taste as good as they sound:

Kellogg’s were kind enough to send over two different flavours for me to sample: Raisin and Berry. First up I decided to try the Raisin Oat Bar as a mid day snack. One thing I noticed instantly was the unusual texture of the bar, which resembled other breakfast cereal bars but seemed softer and more appealing with raisins invitingly assembled on top. Also although the bar looks tough it’s actually very easy to bite in to, is full of flavour and an includes an essence of what seems like ginger which radiates through every bite and nibble.


The bar helped tide me over till dinner time so I decided this morning with a 9 o’clock start ahead of me I‘d substitute my normal morning breakfast with the Berry Oat Bar. After all these are cereal bars so should fill me up as much as my usual bowl of Weetabix or Fruit and Fibre. Despite 3 hours of lectures the bar did the trick and helped keep me going. Taste wise I prefer the raisin bar purely as it has more taste to it but there’s no denying that each bar has a nice distinct taste of their own.


So are we getting healthier? Probably not, but at least with bars like Optivita we have a better chance than ever and a nice tasting place to start.

Numberetti Spaghetti

Worried that your children spend too much time playing and not enough time learning? Always find meal times messy and that playtime only gets worse at the dinner table? Well don’t fear it, embrace it! That's what I decided to do today when testing out the followup to Alphabetti spaghetti from Heinz: Numberetti spaghetti, a new way to combine learning and awareness of numbers to make meal times fun and educational.


Whilst it won’t become a new form of home schooling over night Numberetti does have the potential to improve awareness of numbers and maths. Each tin includes a mixture of numbers and as you spread them all over your dinner you can perform basic calculations and arrange the numbers in order from 0 to 9.

Sadly it does feel like Heinz have missed a trick as there are no mathematical symbols included in the tin. This means that you won’t be able to put plus or minus symbols or even equals symbols in to your calculations. Still with a little bit of imagination (or if you’re feeling adventurous a normal tin of spaghetti) you can make up for their absence yourself.

For the more adventurous amongst you, there’s also the possibility of opening a tin of alphabetti spaghetti and making algebra equations as you munch in to a plate of fish and chips. And for my trial run I decided to do just that;


Ok, I didn’t exactly prepare a balanced diet so you can always add vegetables yourself (I went for a quick smoothy myself). Anyway, back to the topic one of the best elements of Numberetti is that the sauce is very light and easy on the stomach so it’ll be good for the little-uns. It also maintains Heinz reputation for great tasting products and continues to make me wonder why other brands even try making baked beans or spaghetti...

As for my calculations I managed to find all of the numbers buried in the pile and even thought up a few little equations myself. There’s definitely more here for kids to enjoy, (and especially with a keen parents supervision, the possibility of making meal times educational and fun) but that’s not to say adults can’t enjoy it either. In fact just yesterday when ordering my shopping I did my best to hunt down another tin of these.

Sick of people telling you off for playing with your food? Then grab a tin of Numberetti Spaghetti and wow them with your calculation and algebra skills.

DVD - 2001 Maniacs

I’ve always been a fan of horror movies that use interesting set ups to introduce their carnage. Take the Hills have Eyes for example, it could have simply been a zombie or cannibal movie about a small town gone mad, instead they chose to explore the effects of nuclear radiation testing, a huge issue for America of the past. In a similar way the set up for 2001 Maniacs focuses on the town of Pleasant Valley, still stuck in their ways from the American Civil War, and as with The Hills Have Eyes you could say they’re still a little bitter about the way that turned out.


Entering their strange little town are three separate groups of travellers who take a detour on their way to spring break (1st mistake). Upon meeting the head of the town, Mayor Buckman, they are invited to stay for the town’s annual BBQ and after deciding it might be an excuse for some teenage action they decide to stay (2nd mistake!). Soon afterwards the teens start vanishing one by one and it becomes apparent something strange might be going on….

So far so similar to most teen horror movies, but what gives 2001 Maniacs an edge is the strange townsfolk and the eerie post 1900’s America town they inhabit. The whole set up manages to parody The Village far better than Scary Movie 4, whether intentionally or not. There’s also Robert Englund in a staring role, who you may recognise as non other than Freddy Kruger.


Once set up 2001 Maniacs plays out like your typical teen horror movie although with a few more laughs than you’d expect. It’s unashamedly blunt with its portrayals of sex and gore but in a way that’s played just for kicks. There’s no Hostel style ultra violence and dark setting here, even when major characters are killed it’s often to a brightly lit sky and smiling townsfolk, which just makes things all the stranger.

Wondering why you never saw it in the cinemas? Well the press release states it’s because it’s “so gorey that cinemas are too afraid to allow it in” but the reality is it’s a far better movie with a filled sofa and a few beers than it ever could be in the cinema. My recommendation is to sit down with a few horror movie loving friends and enjoy the deaths, each one more gory than the last.


So from trademark horror movie beginning to a climactic fire fuelled showdown 2001 Maniacs is a no-brains horror movie designed for a quick thrill, and whilst you’ll feel like it never really makes the most of its civil war setting at least you get to see someone’s insides fall out.

2001 Maniacs is available to rent now and to buy from 23rd October, just in time for Halloween!

Really Wild Bug Eating Party

This is by far and away the strangest product I’ve ever had to try. Inspired no doubt by the “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” bush tucker trials this game does exactly what it says on the box by serving up a bizarre delicacy of bugs and insects for you to eat.


There is some method to this madness and a series of challenges are used to decide who will ultimately have to suffer the fate of eating a handful of bugs. At the start of the game players are split in to two teams and a leader for each team is nominated. Next a series of ‘bug’ cards are dealt out to each of the players. Lastly a spinner is spun to select a bug and if you’re the unfortunate person holding the most cards with that bug then you’ll have to eat it, That is unless your team can complete a challenge card…

Challenges are both inventive and eventful and do their best by trying to create bizarre situations out of household objects. One tip however, if you’re going to be hosting a bug eating party it’s a good idea to first go through the cards to find out what household objects you’ll need as nothing is going to hold up a party like the host having to run off to find a pack of cards or buy some frozen peas.


To give you some idea of the variety of challenges on offer here’s a select few:

The Peg Challenge: “Each player has one minute to attach as many clothes pegs to any part of their skin as possible”

The Impressions Challenge: “The host will give the name of a famous celebrity. Each player must do an impression of that person”.

The Disappearing Basket Challenge: “Each player must throw a scrunched up piece of paper in to a basket about 10 feet away”

The frozen pea challenge:”Whoever can spit a frozen pea the furthest is the winner”

The challenges would make for an interesting game all in themselves meaning there’s no need to actually eat any bugs….


Ok fine, I’ll do it….

Each of the bugs comes with best before dates and they come from carefully selected farms which is better than picking a few out of a nearby garden. A pinch of flavour has also been added to make the experience all the more savoury. Smokey Bacon Crickets and Chilli flavour worm crisps are just a mouthful away.

Sadly the ants aren’t as luxurious. The second you take the lid off all you can smell is their overpowering odour and despite their tiny size you’re encouraged to chew them thoroughly, you know, just in case. The thing is if you didn’t have to chew them there’d be almost no problem at all as their outer casing hardly tastes of anything.

So as to leave an air of mystery and surprise when you try these for yourself I’ll stop right there. If you’ve been able to make it this far then give it a go next time you have a party, and remember the host doesn’t have to eat anything, you just get to watch everyone else suffer!

BuxtOn the Move water

So far I’ve blagged a few of life’s little essentials. Fruit to eat, toiletries to keep myself looking good and clothes to hide my dignity, but until today there was one thing I lacked; Water. As man can not survive on apples alone (or Chocolate Hob Nobs for that matter) I decided it was time to right this injustice. Or rather Buxton did by supplying me with their new 1Ltr sized bottle of water.


God lord that’s a big bottle of water. Designed for those in need of hydration on the go the bottle packs an entire litre of water. Now you may wonder when a person would actually need to carry that amount of water around but I can think of one key occasion: train journeys. For those used to travelling 2 hours or more this is an essential item. Pop it in the fridge for a day, grab it just before you go and it’ll keep you cool and refreshed for the whole journey (because lets face it trains with air conditiong are few and far between).

Naturally as Summer has all but drawn to a close there are less and less opportunities for a 1 ltr bottle of water so I’ve come up with a few of my own:


Homemade water pistol: No more running to the garden hose to refill, just pack this bad boy with you and you’ll be soaking the opposition whilst they’re busy fiddling with the hose applicator nozzle. Plus if you get thirsty during play just squirt yourself to enjoy fresh mineral water.

Caravans: The sun may be gone but that doesn’t mean bizarre holidays are gone completely. So if a distant relative decides they want to catch the last bit of sun before it goes away completely make sure to pack a few of these or you could be faced with the inevitable caravan drinking water.

Instant ice: Cold day outside but no nearby lakes to test out those new skates you got for Christmas? Then make your own by spraying the bottle all over your front lawn.

Blue Peter prop:Trust me the days of Blue Peter using washing up bottles to make stuff are over. Buxton bottles and bigger and will make a far better rocket with a bit of cling film and sticky back plastic.

Or you could just drink it… which is probably a much better idea.


So if you’re always on the go and in need of instant long lasting refreshment then don’t go for poxy 500ml bottles, grab yourself something that will last the journey. Whether that be by train, car, plane or ice skates.